Six months ago today I turned over my laptop and work equipment to my boss, who I had worked with in my Human Resources consulting role since January 2019. We hugged, we wished each other the best of luck, and I got in my car and cried. Part happy tears, and partly out of fear.
I had officially jumped off the proverbial cliff, quitting my job. What have I done?
I knew what I was doing though. Despite the fear I felt, my gut feeling told me I needed a change. And I was finally going to trust my gut.
So, here we are, six months without a job! How am I feeling?
Freedom is Amazing
I don’t know how to adequately express this, but not having to work for someone else, or an organization, is unbelievably freeing. Really this should be no surprise to anyone. I’ve known for years now that freedom is my number one personal value.
I feel so much more like myself because I am free to do what I want each day. I’m living in alignment with my top value, and it feels amazing.
There is no doubt I am unbelievably privileged and blessed to be in this position, and I want to acknowledge this outright. And also, we have worked extremely hard over the past 16+ years, saving money and making very deliberate, intentional choices about how we spend money, which allowed me the opportunity to quit my job at 38 years old.
Our journey to financial independence made this possible. We aren’t independently wealthy, and we haven’t inherited a large sum of money. We just made wise choices with the money we made through hard work in our careers.
You can read more about our story and how we discovered the Financial Independence movement, here.
What Do I Do Each Day?
I still have some semblance of routine in my days, which has been helpful as I’ve transitioned over the past 6 months. The beauty though is I get to make it my day, every damn day.
Our pup Ziggy is still a bit of a wild man, so I’m usually up around 6:30-7:00a each day to get him out, and give him a good play session while I eat my overnight oats and enjoy coffee.
After he settles down, I typically spend a few hours working on blog posts, travel plans, meal prepping, or other normal adulting activities that must be done.
Most days we’re able to have lunch at home together, which is nice.
I typically take 1-2 hours in the early afternoon to move my body. This includes some combo of taking Ziggy on a long walk (2-3 miles), strength training or an intense Peloton class, stretching and/or foam rolling. Peloton is still one of the best things that happened to me. I absolutely LOVE it. And no, I don’t have their expensive equipment, just the $12/month membership fee to access all their awesome classes via their app. I get free, 60-day guest passes all the time, so LMK if you want to try it… And to be clear, I’m just a super fan, no kickback involved.
Afterwards I’ll spend some more time writing in the afternoon, and begin dinner prep.
After dinner, more play time with Ziggy, and relaxing together; maybe catching up on our favorite YouTube channels (mostly RV related). I read for a bit in bed before it’s lights out.
Does it sound boring? That’s okay. It’s my day, not yours! But it hits my top priorities: writing, reading, traveling (or planning to do so), moving my body, eating mostly at home, and spending quality time together (Ziggy included).
Still Addicted to Productivity
Even after six months without a job, one thing I can tell you is I’m still addicted to productivity.
I love lists, and checking things off the list. I love the feeling of getting things “done.”
No surprise then I still feel a lot of psychological resistance when my body tells me to sit on the couch in the afternoon and read, or take a nap on some days. On days when I do listen to my body and resist the urge to get things done, I fight against the feelings of guilt for “laying around.” It’s absolutely ridiculous.
I remind myself all the time I will never get it “all” done. There is always something on the list. But, that addiction is still there.
So, I’m definitely a work in progress when it comes to battling productivity mindset.
And Not Without Challenges…
I want to be clear my life isn’t perfect because I quit my job. I didn’t expect quitting to make my life perfect, thankfully.
The biggest challenge has been the shift in relationship dynamics between us (me and my husband). I quit my job, and he’s still working his stressful role running an IT company. I have a ton of mental space and energy while he is using the majority of his time and energy to do the best he can running a company. The energy mismatch we’re experiencing has created frustrations for both of us. It’s hard.
It’s frustrating when I have the energy to go and do things, while he (understandably) has no more energy to give, or just wants some down time. I’ve learned to proactively check-in with him to see how he’s feeling before unloading my big plans/ideas on him. Likewise, he’s communicated more proactively when he’s had a particularly rough day or week, and needs some space. We’ve both had to improve our communication skills, including communicating clearly about what we need and using boundaries.
If I could tell you how many times he’s told me “no” over the past six months…. Grumpily kicks a rock…
In all seriousness though, it’s required difficult, emotional conversations. We’re navigating “new-to-us” feelings, trying to process those individually, and as a couple. It’s hard, and it’s scary at times.
The second challenge I’ll share is the cognitive dissonance I feel around not having a job and income. Especially while he’s still working. While not working is great, I feel twinges of guilt and shame around my lack of income. Now, I will say that I have actually had some income so far this year from a small consulting project (that LLC came in handy!) that has since concluded. So, I don’t want to discount or devalue that income.
But…I’m happy and satisfied not working, yet I feel guilty and embarrassed for not generating income.
At the root of it, I think my cognitive dissonance stems from the stories I’ve been told and believed that I should be working at 39 because that’s just what people do.
Let me tell you, this whole quitting your job at a “young” age is an interesting exercise to examine the stories I’ve told myself, and try to decipher whether or not they are actually my beliefs.
So my friends, my life is not all puppies and rainbows. I still have challenges.
Luckily I actually believe challenges are an important part of life. Challenges help us increase our self-confidence, clarify our values and purpose, and ultimately help us lead more satisfying lives. That’s what I tell myself, at least, on a good day!
Any Regrets After Six Months?
On the whole, no. None. Zilch. Nada.
Okay maybe one… I do regret the challenging relationship dynamics we’ve had to navigate as a result of me quitting. It’s ridiculous and unrealistic though to expect any relationship will be challenge-free. So, I’m choosing to believe in the long run this is good for our relationship. I’m probably supposed to say it will bring us closer together?! Yeah, that sounds right.
And, just because I don’t have regrets doesn’t mean I never have bad days. I do still have bad days, and it’s usually during those days moments of doubt creep back in. Every now and again my mind will dredge up, “What have I done?”
But, I take a step back and have full confidence quitting my job was the right decision for me, and only a tiny step in our journey to living our best lives.
That’s a great place to be!
Today we are headed to Camp Mustache Midwest, where we’ll hang out with other folks interested in Financial Independence (FI) all weekend! We’re actually facilitating a session at CMM focused on how pursuing FI impacts personal relationships. We look forward to meaningful conversations and meeting new friends!
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Thank you for your honesty and transparency! I’m so glad to hear that it’s everything you hoped for, and I appreciate your sharing of the relationship dynamics. That is one of my biggest fears of downshifting or retiring early, so it is really helpful to hear someone else’s perspective. I think what you wrote about knowing there will always be challenges is important, and that challenges don’t have to always be seen as negative.
Congrats on the 6-month milestone!!
Thanks, Mrs. Dink! I think it’s important for the community to speak more about the resulting relationship dynamics along the journey to FI. We need more honesty and transparency to normalize relationship challenges and struggles. Pursuing or reaching FI is not the answer to a perfectly happy life, be it your partner relationship, overall happiness, etc. I’ve truly learned to enjoy the journey, and know challenges will be apart of it.
Congrats on 6 months! This article is great, because I always picture every problem magically being solved if I could just work less and have a bit more time. Nice to have the reminder that it’s better but not perfect. And the relationship dynamics are not talked about much on blogs like this, despite being relatable (I’m usually the one saying “no”), so thanks for that honesty too.
Thanks, Phronk! Yes, life is better not working, but far from perfect. I’m glad to hear the relationship dynamics are relatable. Stay tuned, as I might have a more in-depth post coming soon on this topic.